Eyeliner

My hand shakes as I do my make-up.  It takes me three attempts to get my eye-liner even on each side.

“Panda eyes” my brothers call them, I hope they are more Mary Quant or Dusty Springfield.  There is a boy I want to impress, impossibly cool in my eyes, he drinks Pernod and smokes Malboroughs.  Wears a Crombie and talks all night about music.

He is the friend of a friend of my brother and everyone forgets that this is how we know him and his mates.  I am overlooked for my friend who is all curves and confidence.  She looks like Betty Boo and I look like, well I don’t know.

Tonight I hope that I will look cool, as I puff on my Silk Cut and sip my vodka and lime.  If the jukebox is free I’ll try and get some Cure or some Smiths on, I know he likes them.

I want to taste the aniseed of his kiss on my citrus tongue.  Find out if he is hard as he pushes me against the wall.  How far will he want to go? How far will I let him?

Will he walk me home the long way, stopping in dark alleys to frisk and fumble, or perhaps we can lie on the grass in the park and talk about the stars?  Holding hands and sharing dreams.

Whatever we do will he tell everyone at college on Monday, will I be a slut or a laughing stock? Why does no-one tell you it is this hard to be 18?

For the moment if I can get my eye-liner right perhaps the rest will follow.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

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3 Responses to Eyeliner

  1. Pernod & Marlboro December 31, 2010 at 8:49 am #

    My favourite. X

    Reply
  2. Pernod & Marlboro December 31, 2010 at 9:34 am #

    Because it reminds me of me back then, although I was the Pernod person, I was vso very uncool. I was more like you in the story (yes I was known to wear eyeliner) but I always knew the answers to all the questions in the story were resoundingly “No!”

    I wish I had the ability to write the “reply” to the story from my point of view but I just can’t put the feelings into words.

    Keep writing Ruby. X

    Reply
  3. Pernod & Marlboro August 4, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

    Still my favourite. X

    Reply

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