Another in the “ridiculous hashtag” series. This is what happens when you ask people to suggest hashtags to write to. For others in the series please see Anal Glands and Flying Mormon Outhouse.


I love breaking in a new boy fuck toy. Their emails and texts always promise that they will debase themselves a hundred ways for me. Clean my house, lick my boots, treat me like a goddess; all the usual unimaginative cliches.

How dare they presume to know what I want?

I tell them I hate hairy nutsacks. I wouldn’t normally talk in such common language, but these snivelling boys bring out my lowest common denominator.

Their first test is to shave for me, if they obey they may be worthy.

Like any professional, I only play with smooth clean balls.


Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

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