Pages Menu
Categories Menu

Posted by on Jan 24, 2014 in Blog, Erotic pictures | 11 comments

How boudoir photography helped me define myself

How boudoir photography helped me define myself

Six  years ago I had a boudoir photography shoot with Matt Christie and it helped to change my life.

At the time, I booked the shoot to boost my self esteem and to make a present for my husband, it did both but when I started writing erotica and using the name Ruby Kiddell those photos became integral to me and helped shape my identity. For a very long time I used a crop of the photo below as my Twitter avi – the legs became Ruby and folk would complain if I changed the picture for anything else.

Ruby Kiddell

Even now the headshot I use is a crop of one of Matt’s photos

ruby kiddell

I love the photos that Matt took for so many reasons – they were taken just before I fell pregnant so they mark a moment in time, a closing of one part of my life before I became a mama.

They showed me in a way that I had only ever seen myself in my head – I wanted to look glamorous and sexy but never quite saw myself as that and so to have the photographic evidence helped me to realise a part of myself I’d been struggling to express.  When I started to write erotica as Ruby Kiddell I knew exactly who Ruby was, she was the woman in the photographs that Matt had captured and helped to create.

Ruby Kiddell photoshootI can’t promise that boudoir photography will change your life but it is a wonderful opportunity to explore a different part of your personality – to be playful, dominant, seductive or demure – and Matt really is a wonderful person and photographer to do this with.  While my photoshoot was six years ago I know Matt’s welcoming and warm nature is the same as ever.

I’m very lucky to have continued to have Matt in my life as a friend and I’ll always treasure his photos of me.

Find out more about Matt Christie and his boudoir photography here

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Jan 24, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

Elust 54

Elust 54

Elustheader Photo courtesy of Gritty Woman

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #55? Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~


How children will break UK Internet filters.

Submissive, Not Passive

When Sex and Disabilities Collide



~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Tribute to a Selfie

The Pawn




~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


My 20 of 2013

Hello 2014

Erotic Fiction

Call Me Maybe

To Watch…

Holiday Travails

The third message

So You Want to Worship Me…Start Here.

Three Stories Up

Men in cages

Lucky Mascot – Huddle: Sex With Sporty Queers

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sex Toys Storage: Hiding from People

SexyLittleIdeas -11 Annoying yet Sexual Dares

His PTSD Cheated on Me


You’re Art but I’m Not

Anger and intimacy

Among a Sea of Submissives


My experiences with unwanted intercourse

Erotic Non-Fiction

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble

The Storm Behind the Calm

Why I eat your pussy

Light My Fire – Zoe Tries Fire Play

Spreading Christmas Cheer

I write a letter to The Neighbor


Sa’afia’s punishment night (1st IV scenes)

Both ends of the spectrum

Love of Flesh; Want for Blood

First Blush

Birthday Burning

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Dear Mollena…

The Best Motivator

on liberties taken.

Submission, More Than A Feeling

Breaking Prude – The Dirty Seven


Just Touch It

A Time To Cum

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Shoe Fetishism – RZ


Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Jan 3, 2014 in Blog | 5 comments

Women write about sex shocker!

Is the notion of women’s agency over their sexuality still so other that we are shocked that women have an interest in and write about sex?

This Telegraph article about erotic romance author Geraldine O-Hara has the headline “Writing about sex: The last thing you’d expect from this mother of five who knits”

What is it that The Telegraph find surprising? Is it that she is a woman writing about sex? Is it that she is a mother? Is it that she knits?  The article in itself, written by Geraldine, talks about the stigma she felt as a writer and her fear of being judged harshly as a woman and a parent, sadly the headline written by the Telegraph only goes to reinforce the prejudice and attitudes that Geraldine writes of.

I’m rather interested in any parenting tips Geraldine can pass my way as a mother of five to a mother of one, but that aside why shouldn’t a mother write about sex? Why is the number of her children relevant and so what if she knits? This headline is a car crash of assumptions about the roles of women and mothers and what they should or shouldn’t be doing to fill their time.  Why are mothers still not expected to express our sexuality or be interested in sex? I’ve had men on Twitter asking me not to talk about my daughter on my feed as they found it uncomfortable as I also talk about sex and sexuality, as if I can’t exist as a parent and a sexual person at the same time. I call bullshit. How do you think I got my daughter in the first place?

It is YOUR problem if as my reader you cannot understand that I am a whole person with different parts of my life; my work, my child, my home and family, my writing, my sex.

In my experience of running Eroticon it is predominantly women who write sex blogs, erotica and erotic romance, or to be specific; predominantly women who write sex blogs, erotica and erotic romance and want to attend an event where they can learn new skills and meet other writers in the same genre.  There are men that write about sex, but anecdotal evidence suggests that within the erotica, erotic romance genres and sex bloggers women writers outweigh men.

It seems fair to suggest that people tend to write about what interests them and what they care about, they write about what is fun and challenging to them.  If women don’t write about sex who will and whose version will inform the world we live in?  Why should it be so shocking that women find sex a subject that they want to interrogate, share their experiences of or fictionalise?  If we are writing for ourselves and others outside the mainstream press, publishing and media then it might suggest that the established voices talking about sex aren’t doing a very good job of engaging us.

I think there is also an underlying snobbery about taking the romance and erotica genres seriously as if the notion that these genres that appeal predominantly to women are somehow less worthy of respect. Think about it, when was the last time you saw a, “Man writes crime fiction shocker” style headline? (yes I know not all crime writers and readers are male, but I hope you get my point)

Women have always written about sex, it may not have been explicit portrayals of sex but there is always sex within the stories they write; from the Bronte sisters to Jane Austin sex is ever present as an underlying force in the works of fiction that talk about women’s lives and women’s experiences of the world. Vita Sackville West, Radcliffe Hall and Virgina Woolf all speak of the struggles of sex and identity.  Nancy Friday collected women’s fantasies and Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper brought us outrageously celebrity soaked sex.  More recently Zoe Margolis wrote of her experience as a young woman dating in London in the naughties.  Yet the media seem to forget all of these writers and more until Fifty Shades of Grey reminded them that women like sex and like to write about it and read about.

We all have an experience of sex and sexuality and if we chose to write a sex blog about our life or to include suggested or explicit sex into our fictions we should be judged on the merit of our writing not on the number of our children or our crafting hobbies and most of all, no-one should be surprised that as women we find sex interesting.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Dec 10, 2013 in Calls for submissions, News | 0 comments

NEWS! I’m working with Velvet Books on a series of erotica anthologies

NEWS! I’m working with Velvet Books on a series of erotica anthologies

Velvet booksI’m so thrilled to let you all know that I’ve been approached by Velvet Books to work on a series of anthologies with them.  

Last month I finally had time to make it up to London to meet with the team and thrash out the details and I have to say it is looking like a very exciting project.  I first met the team behind Velvet Books when they came to Eroticon 2013 and were delighted when they wanted to publish the conference anthology.  While the Velvet Team have a solid commercial, design and marketing presence they were in need of someone to hook them up with writers – perhaps they were a bit shy of all the brains behind the steaming hot erotica that is being written at the moment?  And so they asked me to be their front woman to kick start their anthologies collections.

With the call for submissions for Eroticon 2013 anthology, Southbank Seduction, ending soon, and boy-oh-boy do we have some fantastic contributions already, it is time for another call for submissions, this time for the Raising the Curtain, an anthology of theatrical erotica!

I love this theme, I trained as a dancer and there is something magical about being backstage – I’m sure it is a fertile ground for erotic inspiration!



curtain craig hatfieldCall for submissions : Raising the Curtain :  An anthology of erotica inspired by the theatre.

What goes on behind the velvet curtains of the theatre? 

Is there more drama backstage than onstage? 

Does the sexual tension between the stars of the show get x-rated once the curtain drops and the audience has left?

We’re looking for erotica stories inspired by the drama of the theatre both on and offstage, from amateur dramatics to the high glamour of Broadway or the West End.

We have a strong preference for stories that have female characters and female pleasure as their focal point and have well developed characters and narratives.  Although all work will be considered on merit.

Anthology submission guidelines:

  • Submissions must be 3,000 to 5,000 word erotica stories and be original and your own work.
  • Submissions are open to all writers.
  • Deadline is 31st March 2014 for publication in summer 2014.
  • Payment will be £50 per accepted story.
  • The anthology will be edited by Ruby Kiddell, author of the BDSM novella Normal, editor of the Eroticon 2012 anthology Dirty Thoughts from the Back of the Room and the organiser of the Eroticon conferences for sex bloggers and erotica writers.
  • Please send your story as a word document formatted to 10pt Arial, double spaced to  or submit via our “Write for Velvet” page
  • Please include “Raising the Curtain” and the title of the story in the email subject line.
  • Please include your legal name, your pseudonym, email address and any social media or website links on the first page of your submission.
  • The anthology will be published by Velvet Books, all sexual activity must be consensual and legal.
  • Rights – 5 years worldwide exclusive audio, ebook and print.
  • We will consider previously published work as long as it is out of contract, please indicate details in your cover note.


Image credit: Craig Hatfield via Flickr

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Oct 29, 2013 in Blog | 9 comments

Where does Ruby end? Identity and sex blogging.

Are you ever asked about your sex blogging or erotica writing persona as if it is a detachable part of yourself?

As you may or may not be aware Ruby Kiddell isn’t my given name, my given name is Ruth Douglas, which isn’t news to most of my friends nor anyone with the ability to use Google and ten minutes to spare.  This post isn’t about what my name is but rather who I am perceived to be when I use my names.

I am, as you can see from the above introduction, open about both my writing name, the content of my writing and by extension the work I do putting together the Eroticon conferences, in fact I’m incredibly proud of the conferences and shout about it regularly on both my professional, @eroticnotebook and @writesexright, accounts and my personal Facebook account.  I first used a pen name to tweet and write about sex because at the time I was also trying to build a family orientated craft business and wanted to distinguish between the different audiences for my different work.  Of course parents are interested in talking and reading about sex, but they probably don’t want to do it while shopping for children’s birthday gifts.

There of course came a point where I decided to be open about Ruby/Ruth, though I’m still mindful about who I tell and how, based on who I’m talking to and my perception of their openness to my work.  Though in truth the more open I am the easier it gets and with the advent of Fifty Shades of Grey and the raising in public awareness of erotica writing then things seemed to get easier still.

For all this perceived shift in awareness and public openness to erotica and sex blogging, there seems to remain a tension between the acceptance of the writing and content and the understanding of the people behind it.

Erotica writers often receive feedback that conflates their fictional writing with themselves; you write about being spanked therefore you must enjoy being spanked.  Sex bloggers receive feedback that conflates their personal acts with public acts; you write about your sex life therefore you must want to have sex with me.  In fact both fictional and factual sex writers that I know are regularly propositioned by strangers because hey, if you write about sex you must be willing to fuck everyone.

Newsflash people, not so much.

I also get questioned on my representation of myself;

“How real is Ruby?”

“But Ruby isn’t really you?”

“How can you be Ruby and Ruth?”

Ruby is Ruth, Ruth is Ruby.  It is all me all the time, but like everyone I know I play to my audience.  I’m always a parent but I’m not always parenting, I’m always an erotic writer but I’m not always writing erotic fiction, I’m always a scuba diver but I’m not always scuba diving, and so on.  My persona dresses for the occasion; so the Ruby of @eroticnotebook may talk about her daily life but will also flirt a little, swear a little and talk about sex, bondage, politics, feminism and more.  In fact Ruby is the uncensored version of Ruth, and sometimes it is work; I write about sex and writing about sex to promote my businesses and my publications.

While I know of writers who go so far as to construct a fictional author persona for their writing including writing as a different gender, age and experience, I prefer to have a truthfulness in my life, both its online and offline representations.  Of course truthfulness doesn’t equate to telling the world everything, I still choose what I do and don’t write about and when, but if you are wondering where Ruth stops and Ruby begins, the simple answer is they don’t, they, we, I am the same.

So if you find yourself wondering just how this funny old sex blogging and erotica writing malarky intersects with “real life” here is a non-exhaustive lists of answers to your questions:

  1. Yes I write about sex, both fictional and factual.
  2. Yes I have done some of the things I’ve written about.
  3. No I’ve not done all the things I’ve written about.
  4. Yes sometimes I mine my real life for aspects of my fictional writing.
  5. Yes is really me.
  6. No I won’t have sex with you/

This post is, of course, my personal point of view, I’d be very interested to hear from other sex bloggers and writers as to how you perceive yourselves and the kind of questions you are asked around your writing and your identity.

I’d be especially interested to hear from anyone that has actively created a blogger or author persona which is deliberately fictional in order to write.

Do please comment and share…


Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Oct 26, 2013 in Blog | 2 comments

Eroticon USA : afterword

Eroticon USA : afterword

Ruby Kiddell opens Eroticon USA

Thank you to Molly for taking this photo of me opening Eroticon USA, she seems to have captured a somewhat dreamy quality in my eyes or maybe that’s shell shock?  It wasn’t stage fright because I couldn’t have been tottering around on stage trying to be engaging and motivational in a very British way to a nicer bunch of people.

After two years of Eroticon in the UK taking the conference to America was a huge risk for me and not one I was always sure would pay off in terms of professional credibility – would the American bloggers and writers “get it”?  So while I worried about many things in the run up to the day I stayed true to what I believe makes Eroticon unique and powerful – lining up fantastic speakers who are generous in sharing their expertise and insight.

Thank you to everyone that trusted me enough to hand over their hard earned cash for a ticket,  your trust and belief in the conference, in me, made the conference happen and the enthusiasm and open hearts you brought on the day made it memorable.

As ever my own experience of the conference was somewhat different from everyone elses, the moments that I can switch from organiser to participant are rare and many of my notes filled the page headed “For the future”

One thing that Eroticon USA did for me was bring into focus where the conferences are in terms of their business development and my professional development.  America is unashamedly go-getting and capitalist, which is something of an interesting contrast for a socialist accidental capitalist from England,  but it was refreshing to listen to Jincey Lumpkin break down marketing plans and business development in her #sellingsexy plenary.  Although many people might not feel that their blog or writing is a business, or be interested in making money from them, if you’re wanting to find an audience to read your work then the concerns are the same – creating your work, identifying your audience, finding where they hang out and making sure they know about your work; product, marketing and distribution.

Talking to Lori Perkins during brunch on Sunday inspired me to be bolder in my networking, it seems I need to get in touch with my inner brash New Yorker to exploit the little black books and Rollodexes of my existing network or contacts.  Sex blogging and erotica writing is a supportive community, if you share your ideas then you’ll find many ears willing to listen and many arms willing to hold you up.  I’m proud that Eroticon is a space that facilitates such co-operation and humbled that I continue to be on the receiving end of such love and  support.

Thank you all for continuing to help me and the conference grow.

Read more blog posts about Eroticon USA via the conference website

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More