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Posted by on Jan 24, 2014 in Blog, Erotic pictures | 11 comments

How boudoir photography helped me define myself

How boudoir photography helped me define myself

Six  years ago I had a boudoir photography shoot with Matt Christie and it helped to change my life.

At the time, I booked the shoot to boost my self esteem and to make a present for my husband, it did both but when I started writing erotica and using the name Ruby Kiddell those photos became integral to me and helped shape my identity. For a very long time I used a crop of the photo below as my Twitter avi – the legs became Ruby and folk would complain if I changed the picture for anything else.

Ruby Kiddell

Even now the headshot I use is a crop of one of Matt’s photos

ruby kiddell

I love the photos that Matt took for so many reasons – they were taken just before I fell pregnant so they mark a moment in time, a closing of one part of my life before I became a mama.

They showed me in a way that I had only ever seen myself in my head – I wanted to look glamorous and sexy but never quite saw myself as that and so to have the photographic evidence helped me to realise a part of myself I’d been struggling to express.  When I started to write erotica as Ruby Kiddell I knew exactly who Ruby was, she was the woman in the photographs that Matt had captured and helped to create.

Ruby Kiddell photoshootI can’t promise that boudoir photography will change your life but it is a wonderful opportunity to explore a different part of your personality – to be playful, dominant, seductive or demure – and Matt really is a wonderful person and photographer to do this with.  While my photoshoot was six years ago I know Matt’s welcoming and warm nature is the same as ever.

I’m very lucky to have continued to have Matt in my life as a friend and I’ll always treasure his photos of me.

Find out more about Matt Christie and his boudoir photography here

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

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Posted by on Jan 24, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

Elust 54

Elust 54

Elustheader Photo courtesy of Gritty Woman

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #55? Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~


How children will break UK Internet filters.

Submissive, Not Passive

When Sex and Disabilities Collide



~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Tribute to a Selfie

The Pawn




~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


My 20 of 2013

Hello 2014

Erotic Fiction

Call Me Maybe

To Watch…

Holiday Travails

The third message

So You Want to Worship Me…Start Here.

Three Stories Up

Men in cages

Lucky Mascot – Huddle: Sex With Sporty Queers

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sex Toys Storage: Hiding from People

SexyLittleIdeas -11 Annoying yet Sexual Dares

His PTSD Cheated on Me


You’re Art but I’m Not

Anger and intimacy

Among a Sea of Submissives


My experiences with unwanted intercourse

Erotic Non-Fiction

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble

The Storm Behind the Calm

Why I eat your pussy

Light My Fire – Zoe Tries Fire Play

Spreading Christmas Cheer

I write a letter to The Neighbor


Sa’afia’s punishment night (1st IV scenes)

Both ends of the spectrum

Love of Flesh; Want for Blood

First Blush

Birthday Burning

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Dear Mollena…

The Best Motivator

on liberties taken.

Submission, More Than A Feeling

Breaking Prude – The Dirty Seven


Just Touch It

A Time To Cum

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Shoe Fetishism – RZ


Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

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Posted by on Jan 3, 2014 in Blog | 5 comments

Women write about sex shocker!

Is the notion of women’s agency over their sexuality still so other that we are shocked that women have an interest in and write about sex?

This Telegraph article about erotic romance author Geraldine O-Hara has the headline “Writing about sex: The last thing you’d expect from this mother of five who knits”

What is it that The Telegraph find surprising? Is it that she is a woman writing about sex? Is it that she is a mother? Is it that she knits?  The article in itself, written by Geraldine, talks about the stigma she felt as a writer and her fear of being judged harshly as a woman and a parent, sadly the headline written by the Telegraph only goes to reinforce the prejudice and attitudes that Geraldine writes of.

I’m rather interested in any parenting tips Geraldine can pass my way as a mother of five to a mother of one, but that aside why shouldn’t a mother write about sex? Why is the number of her children relevant and so what if she knits? This headline is a car crash of assumptions about the roles of women and mothers and what they should or shouldn’t be doing to fill their time.  Why are mothers still not expected to express our sexuality or be interested in sex? I’ve had men on Twitter asking me not to talk about my daughter on my feed as they found it uncomfortable as I also talk about sex and sexuality, as if I can’t exist as a parent and a sexual person at the same time. I call bullshit. How do you think I got my daughter in the first place?

It is YOUR problem if as my reader you cannot understand that I am a whole person with different parts of my life; my work, my child, my home and family, my writing, my sex.

In my experience of running Eroticon it is predominantly women who write sex blogs, erotica and erotic romance, or to be specific; predominantly women who write sex blogs, erotica and erotic romance and want to attend an event where they can learn new skills and meet other writers in the same genre.  There are men that write about sex, but anecdotal evidence suggests that within the erotica, erotic romance genres and sex bloggers women writers outweigh men.

It seems fair to suggest that people tend to write about what interests them and what they care about, they write about what is fun and challenging to them.  If women don’t write about sex who will and whose version will inform the world we live in?  Why should it be so shocking that women find sex a subject that they want to interrogate, share their experiences of or fictionalise?  If we are writing for ourselves and others outside the mainstream press, publishing and media then it might suggest that the established voices talking about sex aren’t doing a very good job of engaging us.

I think there is also an underlying snobbery about taking the romance and erotica genres seriously as if the notion that these genres that appeal predominantly to women are somehow less worthy of respect. Think about it, when was the last time you saw a, “Man writes crime fiction shocker” style headline? (yes I know not all crime writers and readers are male, but I hope you get my point)

Women have always written about sex, it may not have been explicit portrayals of sex but there is always sex within the stories they write; from the Bronte sisters to Jane Austin sex is ever present as an underlying force in the works of fiction that talk about women’s lives and women’s experiences of the world. Vita Sackville West, Radcliffe Hall and Virgina Woolf all speak of the struggles of sex and identity.  Nancy Friday collected women’s fantasies and Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper brought us outrageously celebrity soaked sex.  More recently Zoe Margolis wrote of her experience as a young woman dating in London in the naughties.  Yet the media seem to forget all of these writers and more until Fifty Shades of Grey reminded them that women like sex and like to write about it and read about.

We all have an experience of sex and sexuality and if we chose to write a sex blog about our life or to include suggested or explicit sex into our fictions we should be judged on the merit of our writing not on the number of our children or our crafting hobbies and most of all, no-one should be surprised that as women we find sex interesting.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on and, don't be shy leave a review!

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