Pages Menu
TwitterRssFacebook
Categories Menu

Posted by on Jun 30, 2013 in Erotic pictures | 24 comments

This is what 40 looks like #sinfulsunday

This is what 40 looks like #sinfulsunday

I don’t do pictures very often any more, crikey I don’t do words that much at the moment,  but Molly’s post about age got me thinking this week.  I saw a little of the conversation that sparked her post and I know both the participants.  They are both a good 12 years my junior.  I am 40.  This is what it looks like: A little bit tired, with stubbly legs and a painful knee.

My body is softer and less flexible than it was at 23 but then I’m not dancing full time any more.  My body is rounder than it was at 35 but since then I’ve had a baby.  My knee hurts because of the years of dancing but my arms are still strong because of the years carrying scuba cylinders.

I’m sure that anyone banging on about older mums that are an embarrassment to their kids would, if I challenged them with the truth that I’m an older mum, assure me that they didn’t mean me, but my age isn’t something I can deny.  If you’re talking about “older mums” that’s me.  You didn’t mean me because I don’t look like your stereotype.  Who does?

I’m incredibly lucky to have the genetic good fortune to have a body that suits what our culture deems acceptable and to look younger than my years.  I get that. I’m lucky that I chose an active life and that my body accommodated those choices, doing the many strenuous and stressful things I’ve asked of it without too much accident or injury.  I like my body, but what I like more is my age.

What I have as well as sun damage, wrinkles, aches and pains – all of which I expect to get much worse in the coming years; is experience.

The 22 years of my adult life have been well lived and are full of experiences, good and bad, that have enriched me.  So you can keep youth and smooth skin, along with your angst and struggle for self-awareness and identity and I’ll keep my 40 years and look forward to at least another 40 more.

This is what 40 looks like.

This is my contribution to Molly’s Sinful Sunday photo meme, click below to see who else is joining in.

 

Sinful Sunday

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Jun 18, 2013 in Blog | 2 comments

Pain and sex – why do you like it?

Pain and sex

I enjoy pain as part of sex play and because of that I am often asked;

Why do you like pain?

The glib answer would be;

Because it feels good.

But it doesn’t, not always does it?  Stubbing your toe on the corner of a table, hitting your head on the open cupboard door, these pains do not feel good to me.  There is a science of pain, people dedicated to understanding it so they can alleviate it when it is telling you that something is wrong with your body. Pain is a warning sign as well as an ongoing alarm, so why would anyone want to put pain and sex together?  Why does pain feel good?

Good pain

To quote Jane Fonda;

No pain no gain.

Since the age of six I attended either ballet class or gym club until dance entered my studies full time at the age of 16 and at 18 I went on to study contemporary dance at university.  In dance pain becomes your close companion, something to work with and to be grateful for.

At the beginning of my final year, after eight weeks of summer in which I did no dancing other than clubbing, I returned to class.  On the day after the first technique class of the term I was in so much pain I could barely walk down the stairs of my house.  My muscles were protesting, but I was back into class the next day, warming up and stretching the pain away until at the end of 90 minute class movement was fluid.  I seized back up overnight and repeated the whole thing the next morning.

I remember the stretch of muscles as I pushed past my limits, coaxing my body through tiredness and, on more than one occasion, injury.  Pain was good for you, it meant you were working hard and doing well.  Good pain hurts at the start, but softens, your body waits it out and relaxes into the pain until it gives way to movement; a bigger stretch or a better extension.

There is also the impact pain, the falls and tumbles from pushing yourself too hard or taking too big a risk, or from someone dropping you.  The pain of bruises, recurring and tender, reminding you that you are not invincible and sometimes pain needs to make evident who is in charge.

The pain of a blister so deep in the ball of your foot, that you can only feel it; hidden under layers of hardened skin until eventually it works it way out as a strange empty space in your foot.

Sometimes, as a dancer everything hurt and the pain told me I was doing well.  If it didn’t hurt I wasn’t working hard enough.  For those three years at university pain was a daily part of my life and it was good.

Choosing pain

Good pain is chosen.  Good pain is invited and accepted, bad pain is un-bidden, it is inflicted on you by the dropped shoe you trip over or the shelf at just the wrong height.  Bad pain harms us and we shouldn’t knowingly welcome harm into our lives.

Perhaps this is why I like pain as a part of sex; it feels good because I’ve trained myself to see it as my friend and to feel it as my reward.  Pain is a relationship and I only want to be in good relationships.

 

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Jun 17, 2013 in Blog | 2 comments

The O team :: Thoughts on Sex Toy Stories and the commercialisation of orgasms

Last week Channel 4 aired the show Sex Toy Stories, a 45 minute documentary following a project by Ann Summers to develop a range of new sex toys with eight ordinary woman.  I watched the show in the daytime via the online catch-up channel so missed much of the Twitter comments and discussions that went on via the #sextoystories hashtag.  My overwhelming impression from the show was that it was rather disingenuous and that the company were in fact playing it safe rather than going for real innovation.

Sex toys designed for women by women

Ann Summers’ website describes the project as;

A variety of 8 real women chosen to help us design and develop an innovative range of orgasmic toys

Now leaving aside what constitutes a “real” woman, much was made in the show that the sex toys should be designed by women as many sex toys designed for use by women are in fact designed by men.  I understand the premise but are Ann Summers really telling us that they don’t have access to any professional, women product designers in the industry?

While I don’t doubt that product design in the sex toy industry is weighted towards men I find it hard to believe that there are no female product designers.  If there are so few, why not recruit some?  By asking these women to volunteer their ideas and time in exchange for the experience of being involved in a TV show, as oppose to serious work experience in product development, what is the message? That although there are no women designers women’s ideas are cheaper, less valuable and more easily exploitable than mens?

I do not doubt that the experience of being involved in the show was something that these women may not have otherwise had and that experience was valuable to them, my question is with the initial premise of “by women for women”.

What didn’t we see

Given that the documentary was filmed over a year and was cut down to 45 minutes there was undoubtedly much that wasn’t included.  What was included gave the impression that the women submitted their product pitches and these were then taken away and worked into 3D computer designs and in some cases prototypes.  Nothing of the development was shown, which is a shame because it suggests that the company took the eight ideas and then developed them with no input from the women participants, the result was that for those whose designs were completely changed it looked as if their concepts were thrown out.

What would have been more interesting would have to been to understand why those particular concepts were changed in a particular way.

For example, the suggestion of the leather bondage harness became a ride on vibrator.  Why?

Was it too risque for Ann Summers? I doubt it, after all they’ve got a bondage section on the site.

Perhaps it was as simple as the idea didn’t fit the brief, the brief being to develop a vibrator – but without the development process being shown we’ve no idea.

Innovation vs saleability

Ann Summers are a commercial retail organisation.  They are successful because they know their market and which products people will buy.  When it comes to new product development their main goal is to create and stock products that sell.

I understand this and up to a point I don’t have a problem with it, it is a commercial decision, while I expect the company has a research and development budget I don’t expect they have a budget called “crazy innovations which we are happy to lose money on if they don’t work” but maybe they should?

If you only create products that are a tweak away from your existing best sellers then you are playing it safe.  There are new ideas in the range and sometimes innovation takes the form of applying a new idea to a familiar design, such as the expanding rabbit vibrator, but when I looked at the page of products I was disappointed, most of them were working on familiar ideas and familiar perceptions of how women should orgasm – clitoral and g-spot stimulation – two points out of an expanse of nerve endings and sensation points on a woman’s body.

Perhaps we need to re-invent our notion of the orgasm not just of the vibrator?

Getting off risk free

Ann Summers clearly knows what they sell and sells what they know.  It is a good enough business strategy but rather risk averse, my reading was that the show was a PR strategy.  The real test of the products will be in continued sales after the show has been forgotten about.  Overall I felt the show lacked any real risk or innovation, they weren’t solving a problem or creating anything new – they were slotting in “real” women and their ideas into a corporate product development plan with the risk free bonus of a guaranteed sales boost on launch.

Women don’t all look the same inside and out, we don’t have the same desires and we don’t all come to orgasm in the same way and with the same stimulation, if you are a sex toy company and you tell us that you are selling us “innovative” sex toys please don’t just give us longer, wider, buzzier.

Perhaps the real innovation will be a company that instead of doing more of the same with quieter motors, longer shafts and scarier rabbit ears, will take their time, listen to women, explore their bodies and understand what gets us off.  It is what women expect from our sexual partners so perhaps it is time we expect it from our sex toy producers too?

::

For another post on the show visit Behind The Chintz Curtain.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Jun 11, 2013 in Erotic writing | 2 comments

The difference between love and sex.

Love me

No

Love me

No

LOVE ME

NO

I’m fucking her and I don’t know if I’m closer to coming or crying  because this is what I want but not what I want.

I want her to love me and she wont.  She denies me even as she digs her fingers into my arse and pulls me deeper into her.

I don’t know what I’m doing here or why I’m begging for something she doesn’t want to give me, but I can’t keep away, heh, more likely I don’t want to keep away.   What am I doing? Do I really think that if I show up and fuck her enough times that somehow I’ll break her, changer her.  Overwhelm her with my emotions until they are hers?

What kind of fool am I?   Don’t answer.

If you saw her you’d maybe understand, there’s something about her that  makes my cock twitch when she looks at me.  Something about her mouth, that makes me want to fill it with my cock to replace the expletives she knows I hate.

And her voice, is it normal to get a hard on just from a phone call?  It isn’t like we are talking dirty, it is small talk but every time she picks up, every time she say’s “hello” the blood rushes to my cock.

For all my desire I can’t make her love me, though she sure as hell knows that she owns me.  What am I doing?  I’m buried ball deep into a woman, a woman who is coming underneath my touch, a woman I am trying to break with my lust.

I come, growling my love for her into her shoulder and she holds me.  She whispers nonsense into my ear and it feels like a consolation prize.  No matter how much I fuck my love into her, she’ll never love me.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More

Posted by on Jun 7, 2013 in Blog | 0 comments

Silver Swan by Swan Vibes :: A sex toy review

Time for a long overdue sex toy review.  I’d like you all to think I was so busy lying about in a sex toy review induced lusty fog that I’ve not had time to file the product review, but the truth is somewhat more mundane and involves everyday life getting in the way of blogging.  Anyway, I was sent the Silver Swan free to review from Swan Vibes and I use affiliate links in this review.

The Product:

Silver Swan from Swan Vibes

What they say:

“The award winning Swan collection is the worlds’ first range comprising of completely silicone-covered products that offer 100% end-to-end usage with approximately 70% more play area than traditional vibrators.  That means a more deep and powerful vibration spread over a greater surface area, leading to a more flexible product with a greater range of possibilities for pleasure.”

What I say:

It is pink.  Very pink.  I have no idea what the optimum colour for a sex toy range is, but cerise pink isn’t my personal favourite.  That said, once you’re busy enjoying the product you aren’t really worried about the colour of it

The packaging is great, a sturdy, glossy white box with a simple product shot on the outer.  Inside there is the vibrator with draw string bag, charger with multi-territory adapters and an instruction booklet.

The Swan takes about three hours to fully charge and on first charging I found the jack a little difficult to plug into the vibe, but that’s soon got used to.

It’s outer is phthalate and latex free, being as it is 100% silicone. Its measurements are:

  • Length: 7 inches
  • Insertable Length: 3 inches
  • Circumference: 4.5 inches

Once charged the Silver Swan delivers powerful internal and external stimulation.

The vibrators contoured shape sits nicely in your hand while in use.  While I may not be keen on the colour I do like the shaping of the product, the smooth swelling of the shape means that it fills with volume not just with length.  The smoothness also means you can use any part of the product to stimulate externally, none of that pointy jabby rabbit ear nonsense, which makes using it feel more intuitive and body responsive.

Each arm has a motor in it controlled by an on/off button, continual pressure on the button increases the power of the vibrations.  Due to the delirious haze of pre-orgasmic enjoyment I did sometimes get a bit confused as to which button drove which motor.  The motors vibrate at different frequencies; the smaller external arm at a high rate buzz and the internal arm at a low, deeper throb.  You don’t have to insert the longer arm all the way into your vagina to enjoy the vibrations, playing with a shallower insertion stimulates the nerves around the vaginal opening and anal wall which means you can have plenty of fun working up to insertion.

The vibrations are very powerful yet quiet.  For me it delivered fantastic internal and externally stimulated orgasms and think it is a brilliant product to play with alone or with a friend.

Conclusions:

Fantastic if you like powerful vibrators, great all over surface use.

Retailing at just shy of £90 I would recommend that you look at the full range of Swan Vibrators to find one that suits you and your body.

Any downsides:

It is very pink.  If it isn’t fully charged the batteries can cut out mid wank, which means you’ve to wait 3 hours for a recharge.  Frustrating,  but avoidable if you recharge after each use.

If you like your vibrators long and thrusty this model isn’t for you.

Where to buy:

The Silver Swan retails at £89.99 at Lovehoney.

Thanks for reading,

Ruby x

If you enjoyed my writing you can find more of my erotic fiction stories on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com, don't be shy leave a review!

Read More